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*"It could be a tall, muscular woman."*

  • Apr. 17th, 2007 at 12:23 PM
News!
This morning, at the Cranbrook Academy near Detroit, there was a bit of a security situation, as some people spotted what appeared to be a largish man riding a beat-up bicycle, while wearing a dress, wig and heels.

Police were called and the campus was put under a lockdown. Now, apparently, there's press all over, etc. Okay- which of the following headlines is more oddly humorous in its dry treatment of the situation?

The Free Press' Brief Cranbrook lockdown after report of man wearing women’s clothing

The Detroit News' Man wearing heels causes Cranbrook schools lockdown

BONUS NOT-VERY-WELL-THOUGHT-OUT QUOTE FROM AN OFFICIAL:
"In the wake of what happened yesterday in Virginia, it’s better to be safe than sorry. It’s better to call us than have an oh, whoops," [Bloomfield Hills Detective Lt. Paul J. Myszenski] said.
Because, you see, yesterday's incident was an "Oh, whoops."

Comments

( says you )
[info]blergeatkitty wrote:
Apr. 17th, 2007 04:33 pm (UTC)
Until you get to the "whoops" part, this reads like something straight out of the City Desk.
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[info]cleo_middlesex wrote:
Apr. 17th, 2007 04:42 pm (UTC)
what is going on, the real world is STEALING material from the city desk, first philadelphia, now detroit. too weird.
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[info]calamityjon wrote:
Apr. 17th, 2007 06:55 pm (UTC)
Oh come newspapers, you are not even trying:
"Cranbrook Tran-Crook Academy Conundrum!"

"Two-Wheeling Transvestite Ramps Up Detroit Defenses!"

"Bicycle Brouhaha over Blouse-Bedecked Boy!"

And so on...
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[info]rjwhite wrote:
Apr. 17th, 2007 07:02 pm (UTC)
Re: Oh come newspapers, you are not even trying:
"Bi-curious Bicyclist? Try Furious Lawenforcementspecialists!"
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[info]faeryhead wrote:
Apr. 17th, 2007 07:57 pm (UTC)
Re: Oh come newspapers, you are not even trying:
Tranny's Tuesday Trek Terrifies Pampered Pupils!
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[info]cherdt wrote:
Apr. 17th, 2007 08:56 pm (UTC)
[info]bobbyshaftoe once challenged me to create a 15x15 pixel icon that represents a transvestite on a bicycle (apparently there's one that rides around Ann Arbor a lot):
Bike Tranny
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[info]dethany wrote:
Apr. 17th, 2007 09:35 pm (UTC)
This kept me very entertained on campus today.

I think I'm going to go buy a bike.
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(Anonymous) wrote:
Apr. 17th, 2007 10:03 pm (UTC)
that was my school
i'm a sixth grader from that school! and it was really scary some teachers started freaking out screaming at us to go under the tables!!! then when it was all quiet we heard heels and it really freaked us all out. I was in geography and we had to go to the library for a project and the librarian came in freaked out telling us to get under the tables and some of my friends started crying so it's not that funny okay?! I mean i was scared for my life and a lot of my friends were too under the computer desk i was at i was praying for everyone at that school then right after we had a meeting and everyone was really scared asking questions. yah i admit a guy wearing a dress is funny but still it was scary for us because they didnt catch the person!!!!

i wouldnt be lafing if i were you because we couldve died that day okay?!

~Morgan

P.S. im using computer talk so ignore bad grammer and if u want to laugh at kids scared for their lives... then you're not a good person. im sorry but after that no freaking way your not a nice guy or girl or even he/she if ur like that pervert that came to our school. Got it?
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(Anonymous) wrote:
Apr. 17th, 2007 10:16 pm (UTC)
Would you like to be in the situation?
I Go to school here too... dont be freakin' loosers...What if the guy had a weapon? What if you were held hostage? I dont think you would be laughing either...I am not saying we should be hermits tho just dont be saying this is amusing...


"Hope you are in a lock-down too!" (right back at ya)
----M
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[info]cleo_middlesex wrote:
Apr. 17th, 2007 10:52 pm (UTC)
in rj's defense, he wasn't making fun of the very real, and scary situation, nor was he making fun of the students that were in that situation. this post was mocking the media's use of words to describe the event. perhaps when you are older, you'll understand.

i am quite glad that it turned out to be nothing serious, and applaud the school officials for taking precautions, because too many times schools and children have been attacked.

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[info]bigbeard61 wrote:
Apr. 18th, 2007 02:29 pm (UTC)
There's also the possibility that some witty children were taking advantage of media-fueled jitters as an occasion to commit a practical pleasantry and that the lady/gentleman in question may not have existed. Were any deadlines extended of tests postponed as a result of this incident?
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(Anonymous) wrote:
Apr. 22nd, 2007 02:11 am (UTC)
I'm not even sure that any kids saw him. And it was a parent who called, not a kid.
As far as I know, only any tests for second hour had to be rescheduled. Like the reports say, life pretty much went on normally after the incident, except for rumors and a lot of talking about it for a couple days.
My friend's dad saw the guy when he dropped my friend off at school, but he didn't think much of it since he thought it was just an art (from the graduate art school part of the Cranbrook community). Who knows if that's the truth or not.
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(Anonymous) wrote:
Apr. 22nd, 2007 02:15 am (UTC)
I'm not even sure that any kids saw him. And it was a parent who called, not a kid.
As far as I know, only any tests for second hour had to be rescheduled. Like the reports say, life pretty much went on normally after the incident, except for rumors and a lot of talking about it for a couple days.
My friend's dad saw the guy when he dropped my friend off at school, but he didn't think much of it since he thought it was just an art student(from the graduate art school part of the Cranbrook community). Who knows if that's the truth or not.
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