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Over on the Twitter, I have been posting facts.

Because most of you are not on the Twitter (and god bless you for that), here are the facts:

DID YOU KNOW: There was once a musical version of the 1957 Burt Lancaster film Sweet Smell of Success?

DID YOU KNOW: The Della Reese Death Curse also extended to pets of co-stars?

DID YOU KNOW: Fred MacMurray would shoot his entire season of My Three Sons scenes in a week?

DID YOU KNOW: The sun is hiding something from you?

DID YOU KNOW: James Brolin was originally cast as the voice of KITT (the talking car) in the 1980s tv series Knight Rider?

DID YOU KNOW: French roast coffee takes one minute longer than Colombian to eat through the rust on a screw?

DID YOU KNOW: The term 'spoonersim' is comes from a failed Confederate colonel in the US Civil War?

DID YOU KNOW: I was only joking when I said, by rights, you should be bludgeoned in your bed?

DID YOU KNOW: Maple syrup, mixed with water, can clean up syrup spills. Due to this ability to clean itself, it's known as nature's "cat."

DID YOU KNOW: Early baseball caps were made from pulped newspapers? The tradition of calling games for rain is due largely to this.

*barbecue recipes*

It's been something like a month since the last one, but there's a new Wasted Words podcast:

Show 33 - The Thriving Performing Arts Scene Of Downtown Tuscaloosa

Join me and panelists Leonard Pierce ([Bad username: ludickid>), Aaron Bleyaert (<lj user=]), Tony Zaret (tonyzaret) and Olivia Todd (007donuts) as awful family memories are dredged up, musicals are discussed and Alabama is well-represented well. Fun for all.

Also, you know, there are many, many ways to follow the program:

- There's a Wasted Words facebook page
- There's a Tumblr feed, if that's easier for you
- On the main site, there's also the iTunes link and good ol' RSS.

THERE IS NO EXCUSE, REALLY. Unless, you just don't like the program, which is perfectly understandable. So very sad for you, but understandable.

*it's not a rerun if you haven't read it*

From a couple of years ago, over at Supermasterpiece- "A Catholic's Guide to Passover," by me (RJ White).

*this internet, it is terrible*

Two new pieces up at Get Off The Internet-

The Gone with the Wind producers pulled almost the same trick with an audience in 1939.
- There was a special surprise screening last evening of the new Star Trek film and nerds are weird and awful people.

“Huh. This turned ugly quick.”
- A guy killed himself at a screening of Watchmen Sunday night and people on the internet are awful and awful people.

Apr. 3rd, 2009

*scratch and lose, amiright?*

FRIDAY INTERNET CHALLENEGE: What's the saddest thing you've seen today?

ME FIRST: A couple of blocks from the subway this morning, a very tired-seeming middle-aged woman wearing a Burger King uniform, looking dissapointed and worried at her (presumably losing) scratch-off ticket, not two steps from the cigarette/lottery stand where she'd just bought it. In the rain.

Currently, I'm reading Hard Times, Studs Terkel's oral history of the Great Depression.

It's a 1986 edition (with a foreward written then) of a book with late 60s interviews of people about their experiences during the late 20s-mid 30s.

And you know what? There have been an astounding number of times where I just sort of stop and think, "Gee, that sounds rather familiar right now." Every part, no matter when it was written or when it took place.


Seriously, the talk of Ponzi's scheme, people buying up things in the market with money that didn't exist (and they didn't even really have on paper), titans of finance saying they never saw it coming, people being amazed that there wasn't any sort of organized outrage in the streets, the 1986 portion speculating that increased deregulation could possibly roll it all back and let it happen once again- well, it's just an interesting read for these times, if you have either the time or the inclination.


Okay, in the Detroit News article about this morning's announcement by the president of strict new policies for GM and Chrysler, was this [emphasis mine]-
"What we are asking is difficult. It will require hard choices by companies," Obama said in the Grand Foyer reading from a television monitor as dozens of photographers snapped.

Now, am I reading too much into the casual mention, there? But was it really necessary? Or, is the whole teleprompter storyline now finally breaking out of its shell, able to mature and survive on its own in the wild, showing up in the darnedest places?
Via brandawg, INSANITY-
MGM and the Farrelly brothers are closing in on their cast for "The Three Stooges."

Studio has set Sean Penn to play Larry, and negotiations are underway with Jim Carrey to play Curly, with the actor already making plans to gain 40 pounds to approximate the physical dimensions of Jerome "Curly" Howard.

The studio is zeroing in on Benicio Del Toro to play Moe.

The film is not a biopic, but rather a comedy built around the antics of the three characters that Moe Howard, Larry Fine and Howard played in the Columbia Pictures shorts.
Is this real? It can't be.

"I still hate Boston people."

How do you while away those last couple of Friday hours? Why, by reading a new item over at Get Off the Internet, that's how!

Philly.com commenters react to the tale of a couple of salesmen who chased down a purse snatcher.
Oh, and I forgot- Gene Keady's Hair is back at the ESPN Tournament page, for your joining.
The other week, I heard a new song, "Furr," by some neo-folk outfit called Blitzen Trapper.

Here is a video.

Listening to the lyrics, I thought- "Oh man, there are going to be some of those fursuit freaks who will LOVE this, like some kinda anthem."

You know- those livejournal people who have userpics of cartoon wolves wearing t-shirts.

I kind of want to write it up for Get off the Internet, but I am afraid to do the research and find that I am horiffically right.

*100% 'dust in the wind' free!*


The latest episode of Wasted Words fetaures-

- A recording of a Song of Toil on a wax cylinder
- A new guest panelist, Jess Lane
- A horribly copyright-unfriendly film-sharing Web site
- Watches
- Bad job interviews
- Idea for Andrew's soon-to-come foyer
- Fradulent cold rememdies

Also, we really want our bartender, Deke Zibinski, to be able to come back and answer questions from listeners, so please send them in, either at our Facebook group or through our email, both of wich are at the link. GO. LISTEN. NOW. AWESOME.

Wasted Words No. 31 - "Okay, Ann, I'm Awake"

*Crazy Cherry Coffins*

The last entry for The City Desk for awhile comes from Jon "calamityjon" Morris-

Nice Work If You Can Get It: Fighting Faux Mormon Corn

Very funny, bringing back a nice previous bit and expanding upon it.


So- in a couple of reviews of Watchmen I've read, they use the point that - Yeah, but isn't it great to finally have an adaptation? Isn't it neat to see the characters moving around on a movie screen?

And that just kind of seems like Woody Allen's friend in Annie Hall saying "And the women, Max, they're like the women in Playboy magazine, only they can move their arms and legs."

Still not 100% sure about seeing it. I'm curious, but yeah.

Also, there's a new Wasted Words- No. 30 - “50 cents a ho ho?”

*for me it was greatest american hero*

It is snowing. Here are two things to keep you warm.

The City Desk: Mysterious Giant-Food Thefts Continue. By Sean Fraga. I added a nerd reference in there. If you can find it, you are as sad as I am.

Classics Alive!: The Caine Mutiny, crushingly depressing like we all enjoy.

Shovel that, shovelhoffer.


I am going to an Asian restaurant in Colo. Springs tonight called China Doll.

People of LiveJournal, what David Bowie-themed dishes will be on the menu?

Feb. 13th, 2009

Do these two things auger well or poorly?

1) Thursday evening. I go into the Pen & Pencil Club shortly after opening. They're still taking care of things. I go to sit at the bar. There are some newspapers and a flashlight on the bar. The bartender says, "Hold on, RJ, I'll move those out of your spot." Oh right, yeah, I guess I usually sit in that particular seat. Well.

2) Tonight, meeting tawdryjones and a couple of other folks at a place not far from the house. I walk in- she's at the bar, already. We agree, it'd be better to get a table, as everyone will be dining. I grab one. She settles up with the bartender, then comes over. Before she got up, the bartender asked if I'd be getting a Schmidt's, because that's what I usually order there. I don't even go to this place super-often.

These are good things, right? Right?

Laura is out of town, so what do I do to go crazy? I get a cigar and go to the Pen and Pencil Club to smoke it, have two cocktails and order spaghetti and meatballs.

I am an old man, aren't I?

*a mortuary?*


"Furthermore, [Philadelphia's 30th St. Station] incorporated several features that were somewhat novel in [train] station design at the time, such as a chapel, a mortuary, and 3300 square feet of hospital space."

Wait, what?

*this is all I post, now- TOO BAD, CHUMPS*


1) New Wasted Words episode- No. 28, "Keep Holy the Clorvin Day." We come up with the tenets of a brand new religion, talk about 12-step programs and pudding pops. AND YET, WE ASK FOR NO MONEY FROM YOU TO LISTEN. AMAZING.

2) There's an article today in Metro, the free commuter paper, about the Onion-monologue reading thing I'm in Sunday. Who got the pull quote? THAT'S RIGHT, ME. PULL QUOTE 3000, BABY. SCORE See a weird html/pdf hybrid version here. Sad FunFact (tm): The reporter sent an email to a few of us in the show asking for our thoughts on how we "constructed" our characters for the thing and said I basically said that I didn't construct anything and also I spent more time than was necessary wording the response in such a way that I thought would be most likely to get into the story.

3) New Classics Alive! Wuthering Heights. Seriously, Edmund knocked the hell out of the art on this one. It's one of those where, when I got it back, I thought "Oh, hey, that's pretty much exactly what was in my head." That overhead shot of the subdivision, the cat flag, guy holding up the kid, all of it, GOLD. Well, gold rendered in hues of gray.

Tomorrow, there will be nothing, anywhere, written about, produced or written by or mentioning me. OR WILL THERE?

*i also drunk drove a riding lawn mower*

Sunday, I am in this, a second staging of columns from The Onion, done as monlogues.

I am reading the same one as last time, full of swears.

In the press relase is this sentence-
Also scheduled to perform are Corinna Burns, Ethan Lipkin, Brian Adoff, R.J. White, Sharon Geller and more.
- which kind of makes it sound like I might not be able to make it, due to my vast array of committments.


*over the bar with a baseball bat*

New Wasted Words! Episode 27 - In Which The Bartender Is Asked

The title means, of course, we have finally launched our recurring advice segment, in which our bartender (Deke Zibinski, of Baltimore's lovely Northside Tavern) answers listeners' questions. First time out: Getting a barkeep's attention (Craig, Los Angeles), how he handles drink orders he doesn't know (Laura, Philadelphia) and advice for aspiring pickpockets (Adam, Seattle).

If you want YOUR question answered, send it to info@wastedwords.net or post it at the Wasted Words Facebook group.

Also- the usual discussion of panelists' topics- 10,000 hours of creativity, being stood up, signs of our troubled times and James Howard Kunstler.

*would he fight crime with the eggs?*

Paragraphs like this are why this city is so strange/great-

Joseph Mammana, the Philadelphia egg baron who gained renown as a populist crimestopper before his 2006 arrest on a federal gun charge, will not testify in the corruption trial of City Councilman Jack Kelly's former chief-of-staff and three businessmen.

Philadelphia egg baron. Populist crimestopper. Corruption trial.

Hey- also, there is a new City Desk entry by the site's resident Yalie, Sean Fraga - Divers Unable to Find Source of Oil Sheen

Unidentifiable pollution sources, annexation (favorite topic! score!) and a brief history of an area that's new to the fake city's story.

*answer me this*

Question for all of you.

When you find a new podcast to add to your routine, how do you do it? Search, advice from friends, random happenstance?

Wondering some things about getting the word out about Wasted Words.

Thank you in advance.

*this is an eatin' town*

Oh my, the wonderful city in which I live- Philadelphia.

Every year, on the Friday before the Super Bowl, the "Wing Bowl" is held- sponsored by a local sports radio concern, the event features the competitive eating of chicken wings at a sports arena, accompanied by spectators who are drunk like crazy at 8 am. Oh also- women who are either topless or close to it.

In order to qualify for this event, competitors must perform an eating feat in the weeks preceding the main event. When I worked in the bookstore basement a few years back, the only station we could get was the sports radio concern and I heard a man eat a candle in order to qualify. A selection of last year's competitors and their qualifying feats-
Randall Patrick Bertoletti - 2nd ranked IFOCE member Randall Patrick Bertoletti. Bertoletti ate 5lbs of sourcream in 1 minute, 45 seconds.
Humble Bob - 7th ranked IFOCE member Bob Shoudt of Royersford, PA. Stoudt ate 53 hardboiled eggs in 15 minutes.
Wing Kong - 17th ranked IFOCE member Micah Collins of Drexel Hill, PA. Collins ate 5lbs of SpaghettiOs® in 1 minute 14 seconds.
Steakbellie - 21st ranked IFOCE member Eric Livingston of Drexel Hill, PA. Livingston ate the full McDonald's $1 menu in 5 minutes 30 seconds.
Dr. Digestion - Brett Daniels of Columbia, PA. Daniels ate a "12 Days of Christmas Feast" in 15 minutes.
Dan The Cop - Dan Calter of Philadelphia, PA. Calter drank 12 oz. of maple syrup in 7 seconds.
Jerry The Assassin - Jerry Virgi of Northeaast Phila., PA. Virgi ate 3 one-foot teriyaki hoagies in 8 minutes.
Also, I would like to point out that one of the guys last year went by the name "Ted Bundy Serial Wing Killer."

Ray Ingraham (tennboy) went through and made up a timeline of the city's history (so far) up until the 20th Century. This is all lies, but you knew that, right? Still, it's weird to see it all in one place like this. It's not like we try to keep things consistent. Well, except for the mayors. I should post that timeline at some point. But- here- read it. It's a weird place.

A look back: City Timeline 1600 - 1899

New Friday Facts.

With recently relevant items and old-timey stuff.

By myself and Jon (calamityjon) Morris. The ones I wrote, all based on real, actual things here and elsewhere. CAN YOU GUESS WHAT?

Friday Facts: Impes, “Leapin’ Lepean,” Debtors Prison

ALSO: If Charlie Parker Was a Gunslinger, There'd Be a Whole Lot of Dead Copycats is an awfully nice web-log.

*the spacer's lot*

Tony Zaret (tonyzaret) guests on the new Wasted Words podcast, wherein we all discuss things so bad they're good, Edgar Winter's concept album based on the sci-fi work of L. Ron Hubbard, the comic books of Fletcher Hanks, the persistence of Two and a Half Men, the new president and the old president.

Also, we still need your questions for the first "Ask the Bartender" segment, which will likely run first thing in February.


[ Episode 25 - Jesus Had A Jam Band | Wasted Words ]

*scorsese did not cry, however*

I need to find the phone ring sound from In Like Flint for my new phone.

But, whatever.

Today, Jon Morris (calamityjon, to you geekanerds) returns to his "Nice Work if You Can Get It" feature at The City Desk with the story of a guy who impersonates celebrities to their faces as a form of therapy.

There is a joke about Dolph Lundgren enjoying gum.


[ Nice Work If You Can Get It: The Man of a Thousand Theraputic Faces | The City Desk ]


RJ White
The 14th Windiest State
The City Desk

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February 2011


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